You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
