You work out of a Hotel?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
