im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
