I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
