Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to calm my uterus...
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