Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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