On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
