alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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