Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if only i could text you this smell
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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