how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
