Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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