It's Friday. Sex?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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