it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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