Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
