Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
