When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
