I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
