Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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