Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Let's paint friendship bongs
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Randomize
