I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
