We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
