I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They have beer where we have blood.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
