Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
