I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
