She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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