Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
