D3 body, D1 cock
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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