Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
