Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
