my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
