Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
