Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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