U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
