We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
