I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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