i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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