they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
