Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
