That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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