we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
