Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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