I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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