is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
