I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
