was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
