Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
