K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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