Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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