I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
