You're my little dorito
I look better un-naked...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
